Something good happens, but you feel detached. You should be sad, but tears won't come. Before you knew it, joy and sorrow became fuzzy. Do you carry this feeling?
In this article, we'll explore the mechanism behind "becoming emotionally numb" and share hints for reclaiming your emotions.
Your Heart Isn't Broken
First, let me share something important.
Becoming emotionally numb doesn't mean your heart is broken.
Rather, it's a strategy your brain chose to protect you.
Emotions consume energy. Joy, sadness, anger—all of them.
When feeling emotions was "dangerous" or "too costly" for a long time, your brain protects you by turning down the volume on emotions.
Becoming emotionally numb doesn't mean you're a cold person.
It was simply too hard to feel.
Why Emotions Become Numb
There are several reasons why emotions become dulled.
1. Long-term Stress and Exhaustion
When exposed to stress continuously, the brain enters "power-saving mode." There's no capacity to process emotions, so it shuts down feeling itself. This is also a symptom of burnout.
2. Result of Suppressing Emotions
"Don't cry." "Don't get angry." "Don't show weakness." When you keep suppressing emotions, eventually the circuits for feeling emotions themselves become dulled. This is sometimes called "learned emotional numbness."
3. Childhood Environment
When emotions weren't received when expressed. When crying led to scolding. When happiness was met with "don't get cocky." Growing up in such environments makes "not feeling emotions" a survival strategy.
4. Response to Trauma
When experiencing major trauma, the heart may use a defense mechanism called "dissociation." By cutting off emotions, it protects you from unbearable pain.
Note
If emotional numbness continues long-term, there may be possibilities of depression, dissociative disorder, or alexithymia (difficulty identifying emotions). If it's affecting daily life, we recommend consulting a professional.
The Defense Mechanism of Heart Armor
I describe becoming emotionally numb as "when your heart's armor gets too thick."
Imagine this.
You're on a battlefield. Arrows fly. Swords swing down. To survive, you put on armor.
The armor is heavy, but it protected you.
But even after leaving the battlefield, you can't take off the armor.
Under the armor, your heart feels cramped.
But you don't know how to take it off.
Not feeling emotions was a necessary strategy that once protected you.
But now, if that armor has become heavy. If your heart feels suffocated under the armor.
There's the option of gradually taking it off.
Signs That Emotions Have Become Numb
Some people don't realize their emotions have become numb. Do any of these signs resonate with you?
Signs of Emotional Numbness
- Can't fully rejoice even when something good happens
- Should be sad but tears won't come
- No longer moved by movies or shows
- "Whatever" feelings increasing
- Don't know what you're feeling
- Don't understand "happy" or "glad"
- Feel like body sensations are dulled too
- Connecting with people feels bothersome
These are signs that your heart has entered "power-saving mode." It absolutely doesn't mean you're a cold person.
Hints for Reclaiming Emotions
Reclaiming emotions takes time. Let's work on it gradually without rushing.
1. First, Recognize That "You're Not Feeling"
Simply noticing "I'm in a state where I have difficulty feeling emotions" is a huge step. Just recognizing "I'm in a state where emotions are hard to feel right now" opens the door to recovery.
2. Start with Body Sensations
Emotions appear in the body. Chest tightening, shoulders heavy, stomach unsettled.
When you don't understand emotions, try focusing on body sensations.
"Where in my body am I feeling what kind of sensation right now?"
This technique is called a "body scan" and is fundamental to mindfulness.
3. Practice "Verbalizing" Emotions
When you feel emotions (even faintly), try putting them into words.
Journaling is recommended. Ask yourself "What did I feel today?" and write it out.
"I don't really know" is fine at first. "I don't know but something feels off"—that's a legitimate emotional record too.
4. Reclaim from Small Sensations
You don't need to try to reclaim "being moved" or "joy" right away. Start with smaller sensations.
- Smell a favorite scent—how does it feel?
- Drink something warm—how does it feel?
- Touch something soft—how does it feel?
- Listen to favorite music—what happens in your body?
"Pleasant." "A bit unpleasant." Carefully pick up these faint sensations.
5. Practice Expressing Emotions in Safe Places
People who have suppressed emotions for long may feel scared to express them.
In safe places—alone in your room, in front of a trusted counselor—try practicing expressing emotions little by little.
It's okay to cry. It's okay to get angry. Give yourself permission to "feel."
Summary: Under the Armor, Your Heart Is Waiting
Becoming emotionally numb doesn't mean your heart is broken.
It's a strategy you chose to protect your heart.
That strategy certainly protected you in the past.
But now, if the armor has become heavy. Why not try feeling again?
No need to rush. From small sensations, slowly.
Under the armor, your heart is waiting.
Emotions don't return in an instant.
But they're not never coming back either.
Let's pick up small sensations, one by one.
Discover Your Soul Type
There are different types of heart armor thickness (about 3 minutes)
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Take Soul Type QuizFrequently Asked Questions
Q. Why do I feel emotionally numb?
Emotional numbness can result from long-term stress or exhaustion, childhood trauma, learned emotional suppression, or burnout. In most cases, this is an unconscious defense mechanism working to protect your heart.
Q. Is feeling nothing a mental illness?
Temporary emotional blunting is a natural response to stress or fatigue and isn't necessarily a mental illness. However, if it persists long-term or affects daily life, it could indicate depression or alexithymia (difficulty identifying emotions), and consulting a professional is recommended.
Q. How can I reclaim my emotions?
First, recognize that "you've stopped feeling." Then, practice focusing on body sensations (body scan), verbalizing emotions, and reclaiming small sensations (favorite scents, pleasant textures). Take it slowly without rushing.