How to Let Go of Perfectionism:
5 Techniques for a Lighter Heart

"I need to make it more perfect." "I can't release it at this level." Perfectionism appears to be a sign of high ambition. But behind it lies deep suffering.

Unable to act because you're seeking perfection. Blaming yourself endlessly for small mistakes. Feeling down when comparing yourself to others. Does this sound familiar?

In this article, I'll introduce five practical techniques to let go of perfectionism. Based on psychological research, let's cultivate a self that believes "it's okay not to be perfect."

What Is Perfectionism?

There are two types of perfectionism:

Healthy Perfectionism (Adaptive)

Having high goals while accepting failure as a learning opportunity. Enjoying the process of effort without being overly attached to results.

Unhealthy Perfectionism (Maladaptive)

Excessive fear of failure, equating self-worth with achievements, believing "I'm worthless unless I'm perfect." This is the source of suffering.

"Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame."—Brené Brown

Technique 1: The 80% Rule

The first step to letting go of perfectionism is giving yourself permission that "80% is good enough."

Why 80%?

• Going from 80% to 100% takes as much effort as going from 0% to 80%
• In most cases, others can't tell the difference between 80% and 100%
• Multiple 80% efforts create more value than a single 100%

How to Practice

Before starting anything, clarify "What's the 80% line for this?" Deciding the minimum you need to achieve helps you escape the "make it more perfect" thought loop.

Technique 2: Start with Small Steps

Perfectionists try to start "after preparing perfectly." But perfect preparation never comes.

The "Just 5 Minutes" Rule

All you need to start is five minutes. Instead of "do it perfectly," deciding to "just do it for 5 minutes" lowers the barrier to action.

Practice Points

• "Create a perfect plan" → "Just try one thing"
• "Understand everything first" → "Start from what you know"
• "Produce the best result" → "Just make it tangible first"

"Done is better than perfect."—Sheryl Sandberg

Technique 3: Reframe Failure

For perfectionists, failure means "the end." However, by reframing failure as "learning," you can break free from this spell.

Reframing Questions

• "What can I learn from this experience?"
• "What can I do differently next time?"
• "What wouldn't I have noticed without this failure?"

Developing a Growth Mindset

According to psychologist Carol Dweck's research, people who believe "abilities can grow" (growth mindset) recover from failure more easily and succeed long-term compared to those who think "abilities are fixed" (fixed mindset).

Technique 4: Change Your Comparison Target

Perfectionists constantly compare themselves to "the ideal self" or "others." This comparison creates eternal dissatisfaction and self-denial.

Compare to Your Past Self

Comparing yourself to others is unfair. You only see their "highlight reel." Comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else's stage is meaningless.

Instead, compare yourself to yesterday's you, last month's you, last year's you. Any growth at all is enough.

Record "Small Wins"

Every day, write down three things you accomplished, no matter how small. This visualizes your growth and builds self-esteem.

Technique 5: Practice Self-Compassion

Perfectionists are too hard on themselves. Think about the words you say to yourself when you fail. Aren't they harsh words you would never say to a friend?

Three Elements of Self-Compassion

• Self-kindness: Treat yourself with understanding and warmth, not criticism
• Common humanity: Recognize this is "something everyone experiences," not "just me"
• Mindfulness: Accept emotions as they are, without suppression or exaggeration

Practice: Write a Letter to Yourself

When you fail, write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a compassionate friend. Give yourself words like "It's okay, you're doing your best" or "Everyone fails sometimes."

Letting Go of Perfectionism Is Not Giving Up

Letting go of perfectionism doesn't mean stopping effort. Rather, it means being able to make effort more effectively and sustainably.

You have value even when you're not perfect. Even at 80%, even when you fail, even when you're still growing—you are wonderful enough.

Starting today, try telling yourself "It's okay not to be perfect." That small step opens the path to freedom of heart.